FOR JOHN - IN YOUR MEMORY

 

Hello! A good friend of mine passed away last summer and I am missing him. I share this true little story I wrote about him as I recall how happy he was last Christmas. I also unite with all those who are facing their first Christmas without a loved one. We are united in spirit. 

Giving from the heart

One person’s story about coping without a loved one at Christmas

      Rummaging through my purse, searching for a pen, I found the butterfly necklace I thought I’d lost. Holding it in my hands, I stared at its soft pink and blue colors, as my fingers gently traced its wings. It was a gift from my best friend John and I recalled the words he said as I unwrapped it. “I have been given so much in life, I just want to give back.” Tears flowed down my face then and now, at his thoughtfulness.

      Last Christmas, those words were John’s mantra. Deciding to put his love into action, he donated to several food and toy drives, reaching out to help others less fortunate. Singing Christmas carols as he made his deliveries, I witnessed his enthusiasm and joy, which touched and warmed my heart. We had an extra special Christmas that year.

      Unexpectedly, last May John fell ill. Medical tests revealed he had terminal cancer and only a few months to live.

     Shocked and saddened, I was by his side during his final journey in life, spanning a mere six weeks. I held his hand late into the evenings as he talked about his life and how he had found immense peace in his later years. He passed away surrounded by love, always positive, always joyful.

     Unfortunately, my own heart snapped in two. Grief wrapped around me and held on tight.

     Now it is December again, one full year later, and I miss John so much that I had barely spared a thought to the fact Christmas was arriving fast.

     Amid my tears, I remembered his smiling face as he handed me this necklace, and surprisingly and without warning, I found my own smile slowly inch across my face. I recalled his delight last Christmas, his love in action, and how he cared for so many people who were in great need.

     It was time for me to follow his example.

     It was time for me to put my own love into action.

     It was time for me to remember who John really was and the simple fact, he wouldn’t want me moping around, miserable.

     Clasping the butterfly necklace around my neck, I hurried to the grocery store. I was on a mission – a ‘John’ mission. Collecting food, I placed it in the trunk of my car and headed to a toy store to load up.

     Later in the day, as I dropped my offerings in the collection boxes, I took a moment to hold on to my butterfly. Staring up to the heavens I whispered, “This one’s for you, John.” I also held in my heart everyone, like me, who are facing their first Christmas without a loved one. We were all united in spirit.

     For the first time, in a long time, I experienced joy. I felt as if I had been in a cocoon and was now ready to burst forth like the butterfly, free and rejoicing, filled with Christmas goodwill.

     John had given me the best Christmas present ever, as I was reminded again that by giving from the heart to others, my own heart snapped back together. I was whole again.

    Merry Christmas, my friend. I will never, ever forget you, and your legacy lives on. I promise.

 I leave you with a photo of John's adorable cat, Panda, who came to live with me and Rico. :)